How to Fall in Love Easily Again Without Appearing Desperate

By: Stan Onodu 


Have you been so hurt in your relationships that you have sworn never to love again? Has your heart been broken and shattered by someone you trusted entirely?

I had suffered severely in the hands of one girl early in my search for true love. No sooner had we met, did she present to me a myriad of fake conditions that seemed pathetic. She tricked me into believing that she had a lot of family challenges ranging from her mother being bed-ridden in her village to her facing imminent eviction from her apartment by her land lady. I saw myself as a God-sent for her and I was doing all I possibly could to support her. I paid her house rent for an outright twelve months. I put food on her table. I covered her nakedness and I was constantly footing the medical bills for her sick mother. On the few occasions when the animal in me would rise to demand for sex from her, my conscience would tell me that it would look as if I was helping because of sex. I never deliberately hurt her for any reason. At a point, in spite of the challenges, I was then focusing on proposing to her.

But along the line, I started having pressure as my financial reserve was fast depleting. And to make matters worse, I was released from my job. I became jobless.

Unbelievably, as my girl got the wind of this, she started her tactical withdrawal plan. When the going was good, she used to come visiting practically unannounced with one problem or another. And I would go out of my way to provide a solution(s). But as at that time, she was then showing up at my house once in a blue moon with a range of excuses. I was washing clothes all day! I went to the market and I got so tired after, etc. She would not care about me anymore. I became a nonentity for her. I became an idiot for her. And eventually, she disappeared.

I was deeply depressed. And I fell into love comatose for good six months. When I 'woke' up from that coma, I decided that there was no way I was going to love again.

Surprisingly, statistics around the World show that I was not alone. A lot of men and women have been maltreated or mistreated in their relationships that they had sworn never to love again.

But what I have found is that no man is an island. It's love that makes the World go round. I could imagine if it had worked out between two of us, how blissful that would have been - loving each other so dearly and experiencing the kind of relationships we had dreamed about together.

I had 3 key things I did to help myself come out of that pit of sorrow onto the limelight of love again.

 Forgive and Forget: I discovered that the only way to move forward in life and especially in relationships is to release myself and my ex by forgiving and forgetting. It was not easy I must confess, but I had to put in that deliberate effort to make it happen. And I can tell you that it was actually rewarding.

 Focus on Future Relationships: Yesterday was history and it is important that you focus on the present and the future. That experience helped me to learn a lot. It helped me to re-evaluate my values and set my relationship boundaries more appropriately.

 Focus on Your Passion: What are you good at? Or what do you want to be good at? This has a lot to do with self love. What is it that makes you happy. I re-discovered my passion, and that is helping people come out of their relationship challenges. I derive a lot of fun doing it!

Love is worth re-igniting irrespective of how many times you might have been disappointed and your heart broken. Open your eyes to see so you can fall in love again with the person worthy of your love.

Stan Onodu is the author of 'Just Your Prince, Kiss Frogs No More' who helps men and women that are ready to marry attract and choose their perfect life partners without pre-marital sex. You can learn more here: http://www.lastinghotlove.com

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What Men Want - Men Want Peace And Stability Not Just Sex

Image
I have always said that men love a good sex and that just like the lead  character in Charles Hawkins’s Oliver Twist “Oliver”, they will keep coming back for more. However you must know that  it takes more than just a good sex to keep him committed to a relationship with you even if you guys are married. It’s true that he may easily get excited sexually when you do some normal stuffs, just like a child who saw a  pack of candies in it’s mother’s hands but the fact remains that if you only stop at that alone, you are most likely to lose him soon to another who has something more to offer. You need to give him more and stability than everything and you are assured that he will perpetually be committed to you. If you’re in a position to support him financially or otherwise in the pursuit of his dreams, please do. But you have sure he’s at peace and that he doesn’t endangered or trapped because of the help you had given him. His love and affection should never be seen as one that y
Read more

5 Key Things Women Should Know About Men

Image
  I’ve been married for two years; we dated for three beforehand. It took me a LONG time to figure out — and gosh, it’s so obvious! — that men’s brains are completely different from women’s. Here’s a few examples, and note: I’m not trying to generalize. I speak from experience. Men do not pick up on hints or subtleties.  If you want or need something, speak up frankly. Instead of, “Jane’s boyfriend got her the prettiest blue earrings for her birthday; I wish I had some too,” say, “Babe, for my birthday/our anniversary/the next time you want to spoil me, I want some blue earrings. Here’s a picture of the ones I like.” Your man will be  delighted . There’s nothing unromantic about saying what you want and getting it. Men look for a way to fix things for you.  They are creatures of action. If you don’t want action (i.e., if you just want to vent or grouse or complain), say so up front. This cannot be said often enough. Example: “Honey, I need to vent. Can you just listen for five minute
Read more

10 Things Men Love in Women Pt-2

Image
 1. Femininity - I understand that you need to  to survive in the modern jungle of our society. However being overly too "strong" will hamper your chances of attracting the attention of the male folks. This is not the issue of birds of same same feathers flocking, rather it's an attraction between opposites. Men are generally made to be stoic and strong, a soft effeminate woman who knows her swag will always get heads turning towards her because of her feminine appeal . 2. Ability To Trigger The Hero Instinct In A Man - always making men around you feel like a "hero" will win them over. You can achieve this by simply appreciating little things that he did for you and calling him sweet names that make his head swell . 3. A Sense Of Humor - no body wants to be around someone who is always serious whether it's a man or a woman. A sense of humor and the ability to make a man lighten up from his day-to-day work and  laugh is good 4. Confidence - contrary t
Read more